By Glenn McClanan

I'll admit it. When planning my recent trip to the Western Balkans, I had grand visions of powering down the twisty roads of the Dalmatian Coast in Croatia in the Audi R8 that I was sure to get by selecting "Compact" on the Thrifty.com website.

And even when I came grappling to grappling with the stone-cold reality of the 2008 Chevrolet Spark that Thrifty Zagreb actually rented to me, my brain wouldn't quite let go of that dream. I asked the guy at the Thrifty desk about traffic speed cameras (which seem to be almost everywhere in Europe now), and sarcastic Mr. Thrifty proceeded to mutter something like "don't worry about that because that car could never reach the speed limit anyway."

"Excuse me?  What was that?"

But he didn't need to elaborate. Minutes later, I was speeding, or wishing I was speeding, down the highways of Croatia (which, by the way, place the decrepit I-5 in California to shame). Even in the world of tin cans, this tin can feels underpowered. I could in fact get up to the 130 km/h (80 mph) speed limit if I held it at full throttle for roughly a day. But based on the tortured sounds coming from the 51 hp 0.8L, I realized how much the Spark preferred an amble to a sprint, so I generally kept it 10-20 km/h under the speed limit. 

To be clear, I didn't choose the Spark specifically. That's the kind of car you get when you choose the cheapest option on the cheapest car rental website. Mr. Thrifty sheepishly admitted that it was actually a rebadged Daewoo Matiz, which is known for its tall roof relative to its size. Its size is somewhere between a Hotwheel and a Honda Fit.  

The high roofline actually did make a difference for a 6'4" driver like me.  Yes, after long stretches of driving, like 7 hours from Ljubljana to Zadar, I was ready to get out and stretch my legs, but it wasn't horribly uncomfortable.  The cushion of the seat was pretty thin, but still more comfortable than a well-equipped 2007 Scion tC I recently took a similarly long drive.

And where did I take Sparky? I covered four countries – Slovenia, Croatia, Montenegro, and Bosnia i Herzegovina – in five days. My route started from Zagreb, passing through Ljubljana and Skocjak Cave in Slovenia, then down to the Dalmatian Coast of Croatia, where I visited Zadar, Split, and Dubrovnik.  The route from Zadar from Dubrovnik is one of the nicer coastal drives in Europe. I then dipped down into Montenegro to see the Bay of Kotor, then headed north up into Bosnia-Herzegovina, with stops through Sarajevo and Mostar in Bosnia. Bosnia was definitely where you see the most reminders of the recent war, but it was still a place worth visiting. 

I wouldn't want to stereotype or generalize about Balkan drivers… Wait, after five days of dealing their insane-o driving, I actually do want to stereotype and generalize about them.  What we American drivers think about Italian drivers must be how Italian drivers think of Balkan drivers. They emit this weird combination of speed, aggression, and profound optimism about the Laws of Physics. On numerous occasions, I drove around a blind corner only to find an oncoming car speeding toward me, with little urgency about returning to its own lane. And they were prone to do this on the high cliff-side roads of the Dalmatian Coast. 

Upon returning the car, Mr. Thrifty #2 at the counter, did a double take upon seeing the kilometers I had added to the odometer in a mere five days of travel: 2,100 km.

I hastily explained that my goal was to do the "sampler platter" trip, seeing a wide variety of places in the Balkans, so that I could someday return and do a "main course" trip by focusing on one or two specific places. Maybe they don't have sampler platters in Croatia.   He didn't get it and thought I was crazy.

In the end, I don't care what Mr. Thrifty thinks of me. That's what unlimited miles are for.  And I got a great trip out of it.

So would I go out and buy a 2008 Chevrolet Spark? Um, no. (Though I sort of did buy it temporarily…When I rented the car they actually authorized the full cost of the vehicle on my credit card for insurance. ) 

Would I rent one again? When travelling on a budget, sure.  It's a cliche, but the car did get me where I wanted to go, and that's what really matters.  

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