After brief introductions of the drivers and a few bites of Mahi Mahi, Bob Lutz took the mike to, well, to be Bob Lutz.

Here are some of his choicest quotes (the first of which is clearly a lie in every way):

"The lap times are almost irrelevant. This event is all about fun."

"If my lap times establish to be inadequate which they likely will be given my practice laps, we have a number of development engineers here to insure that we have the fastest lap at the end of the day."

"This whole intent started because I was very frustrated with our CTS-V advertising. I told the agency, 'Why don't we just say we're the fastest four-door sedan in the world?' So they came up with an intent to do an event at the Bonneville Salt Flats and do a sort-of drag race. I said, 'No, American cars have always been healthy to go fast in a straight line. What they haven't always been healthy to do is turn.' So that's how we ended up here.

"I think I should get an age-based handicap of one second per lap for every year of age over 70."

"I've seen the comments on the Internet saying, "I can't move to see Lutz get his cumupance.' And I probably will today.